Music and Religion

Instead of sticking strictly to those two, rather large umbrellas, I am going to explain my religious experience that I have had with music, and incorporate those "umbrellas" into my story. I know that the instructions say "not necessarily an evaluation of your personal experiences", but I'm not sure I can address this topic without delving into that. I feel that by writing my story out it may better explain aspects of my personality that some people find difficult to grasp.
Let me begin by saying that I am agnostic. Agnosticism as defined by Merriam-Webster is 1 : a person who holds the view that any ultimate reality (as God) is unknown and probably unknowable; broadly : one who is not committed to believing in either the existence or the nonexistence of God or a god.
Now as you know if you read my previous post on music and family, I grew up singing in the church and playing piano in the church. I was raised United Methodist and was a very active church member. I was in the church choir from 5th grade through 12th grade. I performed countless solos, performed piano works, was the lead singer of the praise band, and led multiple Bible studies and Worship music groups. I even became a hired pianist for 2 years with a church back home.
Most of my religious "experience" that I had growing up was through music. I was taught to perform classically for most of my solo singing, because that was what was considered proper and "most pleasing" to the ears of all. But with the praise band and in my worship services I sang pop style because that is what the people my age wanted to hear.
Our church services were riddled with music: prelude, opening hymn, prayer hymn, doxology, offertory, a couple more hymns thrown in there, and then a postlude for people to walk out during. It wasn't a proper service if those pieces were not involved. Music started, put together, and ended every service. It was almost like the spine of a creature that was beginning to suffocate me.
I eventually decided that I was too far involved in the "religious" aspects of my faith, and I viewed it more as a job than something that I truly believed in. I discovered the difference between religious and spiritual and decided to take a step back from everything I was doing. I grew tired of watching people I knew fall to their knees in tears because the music was so powerful and moving and then the next week be huge hypocrites. I refused to turn out like that.
I have decided that if religion is meant for me, I will find it. I need something spiritual, not religious and even though music helps for me, it did not give me what I needed.
I have chosen to become an incredibly blunt, outspoken person for the sole purpose of never being a hypocrite.